Saturday, May 20, 2017


THE INNER CIRCLE MISSIVES: A SHALLOW SISTER'S TAKE ON DEATH: A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE ON DEATH. A wise man and my mother said, “In this life you can be certain of one thing – we a...



A wise man and my mother said, “In this life you can be certain of one thing – we all die”.
Benjamin Franklin added ‘taxes’ to that quote.

Since that is the case why do we see death as a finishing line? One where others judge us on our deathbed? Are we around to hear the words “He lived an exemplary life” (when in reality he wanted to run off with the scrubber next door and do drugs); or “She gave her life taking care of others” (when in reality she didn’t have the courage to travel the world with a rucksack and no internet connection). At the end of this faultless existence do we get a badge?

Sometimes it takes death to give us life. To make us understand we should be living it fully and not making sure we stay on the straight white lines of banality. Should we always look towards a future we have not lived, planning for a retirement we may not have, forgetting we have a present to revel in? It is the present that decides our future and if we continue along the path of pointlessness that will also become our future. I’m not talking about finding the cure for Ebola or inventing a gadget we all need. It’s about living, loving, enjoying the moment. It is also not about hedonism and recklessness. It is about the balance of the soul, not the pocket.

Perhaps losing someone is the ultimate gift they give you. Sometimes death sets you free of fear especially if you lose a part of yourself – a partner you never thought you could live without, a beloved parent or worse yet, a child.  Do you know there is no word, in any language that labels a parent who has lost a child? Is the thought so horrendous that no one came up with one?

When your partner dies you are a widow or widower. The moment you utter that word you elicit warm feelings of compassion, a response that even suggests you may find someone else to love.
When you lose a parent you are motherless or fatherless. When you lose both, you are an orphan. This word is a scar you carry and others acknowledge your loss with sympathy.
But the loss of your child has no name and therefore you can’t distance yourself from the tragedy. You can’t mention a label that contains the full understanding of your bereavement. Thus telling others can be long and protracted for it is not something that is easily dropped into a conversation. Others may well reel in horror, and rightly so for it is a death that never stops tearing on the inside ensuring wounds that never heal. And so you may well hide that information from others, making it a secret and then feel the guilt of not acknowledging someone who was an essential part of you.

Many take to loss with morbid enthusiasm, diving into drink and loneliness. Others rise like Phoenixes to live two lives (their own and the dead).

Perhaps to live a life fully one must lose a part of oneself? Perhaps only then we can fully appreciate ‘the moment’. Perhaps then we can understand that there is no life unless it involves laughter and love. Perhaps then we can ignore the fears of a dodgy retirement plan or accept living in a rut is ‘the bed we made’.

But I know this. My life has not been exemplary. It is pitted with mistakes. If I were to stand before the puritanical God(s) I would not gain access to their ‘cloud’. But I do know this I have loved greatly, lost massively, laughed loudly and dreamed without borders. And when I die they can label me selfish, hedonistic and wild. I will not care because I’ll be dead and with my last breath I will know I have lived, truly lived, well enough to free my soul.

At least Lord Byron would be proud of me.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017



As you know I don’t hold any belief in Astrology as a means of fortune telling. However, I hold belief in Astrology as a means of psychological profiling. Before we learned scientific names for personality ‘disorders’ i.e. bi-polar, histrionic, sociopath the ancients categorised their people into astrological signs. How that works is not for me to understand? But some do and can scientifically waffle on eloquently about it. If you have an IQ above blonde (I don’t) you could delve into the many volumes on this subject found somewhere in the top hits of Google to substantiate the almost magical discoveries of astrology.

In order to get you off the Hamster wheel when it comes to sabotaging relationships you must first accept and then change your negative/shoot yourself in the foot traits. I have plagiarised the findings of Kirsten Corley to give you this insight. The fact I have given her credit for the below mentioned is proof I have jumped off my own hamster wheel.

(March 21st to April 19th)
You ruin your life with negativity and allowing yourself to get lost in it.
Your short temper and stubborn nature will get you in a lot of trouble. You live in a negative world sometimes that people don’t want to be a part of.

(April 20th to May 21st)
You ruin your life not living it to its fullest.
You feel the need to control everyone and everything in your life. And when things don’t go the way you planned you take it out on the people you care about. The hardest thing you’ll come to understand is you can’t control people and situations aren’t always going to run smoothly. Learn to embrace it. Unplanned situations in life are what keep it exciting.

(May 22nd to June 21st)
You ruin your life by settling. You settle in love because you are unsure of what you want. You settle in life because you fear change. You settle in your career because you are sticking with something that isn’t making you happy.
And because of this, you are usually the one that hurts people the worst. Because you are indecisive about your own life you tend to drag others through the confusion and then hurt really good people along the way. But one day someone is going to enter your life and the only thing you’ll be clear of is that you want him or her in your life. When you find this person don’t give them a reason to leave because karma will come back around and they’ll be the one that hurts you more than you ever could have imagined if you let them go.

(June 22nd to July 22nd)
You ruin your life putting others before yourself.
You are an emotional rollercoaster and you get easily lost in how you feel about people. Sometimes when you think you’ve met the right person you put them before yourself and love them a little more than you need to. It’s easy to get lost in love. But be careful you don’t lose yourself to it.

(July 23rd to August 22nd)
You ruin your life closing yourself off and hiding your emotions. You ruin your life thinking vulnerability is a sign of weakness.
You are very good an appearing heartless and pretending you don’t care. As someone who puts their emotional needs second in life be wary of not closing yourself off too much because there will come a time where you’ll be overcome with a state of being lonely. Remember emotions don’t make you seem weak denying that you have any does.

(August 23rd to September 22nd)
You ruin your life being too hard on yourself.
You tend to put others before yourself and not make yourself a priority. While it’s selfless and people admire you for your kind heart, your ability to love others and love them deeply doesn’t reflect the relationship you have with yourself. You are the first to criticize who you are or point out your flaws without building yourself up to the way you. You are your worst enemy as well as the solution to that.

(September 23rd to October 22nd)
You ruin your life trying too hard to appease others and not asking for what you want and need.
As kind as you are and as much as everyone loves you, people take advantage of you and walk all over you. You hold your emotions in trying to be selfless but then it all builds up and it comes out very nasty and unkind. Sometimes you hurt the people you love most repressing your emotions and not wanting to face your problems.

(October 23rd to November 22nd)
You ruin your life thinking you don’t deserve love and are better off alone.
You are the toughest sign to get along with. You are painfully stubborn and don’t forgive people easily. Your heart isn’t something that’s easy to win over but once someone does, they have your love and loyalty for life. But your greatest flaw is you’re a little bit selfish and you hurt people who care about you in attempts to simply look out for number 1.

(November 23rd to December 21st)
You ruin your life being afraid. You’re so afraid of failing you don’t do anything at all and you stay frozen in the same spot.
While you have a lot of great ideas sometimes you get lost in all of it. You don’t seem to focus or get much done at all. Focus on one task at hand and go from there.

(December 22nd to January 20th)
You ruin your life thinking you are competing with others to get somewhere. You ruin your life by putting pressure on yourself instead of enjoying the journey.
You are someone who is unbelievably hard on yourself and a little too focused sometimes. You are the person who is always on the go and doing something but don’t forget to slow down and live life a little bit or you’ll miss out on the things that are more important than goals.

(January 21st to February 18th)
You ruin your life by letting your past influence your future.
You tend to keep everything to yourself and you’re your own worst enemy. You don’t forgive yourself for your past and you allow it to dictate your future carrying unnecessary baggage along the way.
You tend to push really good people away because you think you’re better off alone than with someone who could be good for you.

(February 19th to March 20th)
You ruin your life by choosing the wrong people.
You choose toxic people and habits. As someone who genuinely means well and has probably the best heart out of all the zodiac signs, you tend to gravitate towards the wrong people who dim your light a little bit and drain you.
When it comes to habits, you deal with pain in your life choosing all the wrong things to cope. You hurt yourself more each time because you think you deserve pain.

This Is How Every Zodiac Sign Ruins Their Own Life... via @thoughtcatalog

Friday, April 07, 2017



How does a despot rule his roost? With the Rule of Fear. One can adopt that in miniature form i.e. in a relationship.

What is the Rule of Fear? It is someone, or an institution, that burns fear in you so deeply that you cannot function without them. You are trapped in their world, and their hand of pain is also the hand that gives. How else do abusive relationships survive for years? The oppressed does not believe he or she can survive without the oppressor.

Religion is a great oppressor. Do wrong and you go to hell. Worse still, watch those who have lost everything turn to the very institution that took what they loved away. A grieving mother (who is taught God loved her child so much he took it from her to place that innocent soul to sit beside him) turns back to that same God for comfort of her loss. Personally, I’d aim a bazooka at his soul and fire, but then I’m enlightened to the Rule of Fear.

This Rule of Fear is also known as the Stockholm syndrome, which is becoming less associated with hostage situations only and more attached to everyday oppressor/oppressed relationships. Its name was derived from a situation, some 40 years ago in Sweden. It produced a smorgasbord of emotion that some smart geezer identified and wrote a book about. How does the psychology of the Stockholm syndrome work?

Psychiatrist Dr Frank Ochberg wrote:
"First people would experience something terrifying that just comes at them out of the blue. They are certain they are going to die.”
"Then they experience a type of infantilisation - where, like a child, they are unable to eat, speak or go to the toilet without permission."
“Small acts of kindness - such as being given food - prompts a primitive gratitude for the gift of life."
"The hostages experience a powerful, primitive positive feeling towards their captor. They are in denial that this is the person who put them in that situation. In their mind, they think this is the person who is going to let them live."

And so it is with relationships. At first we feel the terrifying onslaught of our captor’s wrath. It is our soul that fears death. When we are reduced to a ball of pain ‘we play dead’, like any animal that needs to survive. We retreat and we wait for affirmation that we can be forgiven or at least we are given hope of a reprieve. We are grateful for any little mercies, and that bonds us to our captor. Denial that we would not be in that situation, had it not been for our sentinel, allows us to believe that without our subjugator we are unable to survive.

And how do we break free from one? Bazookas are available on the dark web. Happy shopping, happy shooting.

Thursday, March 09, 2017


The man has a big dick. You are doing the happy dance. Before you get to the pas de deux: stop. Think. Understand. The man with an above average penis is more likely to cheat! Why?

Here’s why.

From an early age he knows he’s blessed. He’s heard it in the playground. He’s seen it in the urinals. He’s read it in magazines. He’s watched it on the Internet. He knows that his lovemaking skills may disappoint but his penis won’t. He soon realises that with some learned skills a woman will sigh after sex and say, ‘That’s the best fuck I’ve ever had’.

He doesn’t have to contend with any fears he has when naked. If he’s overweight, too thin, too short - it won’t matter. Soon all insecurities are dwarfed by the size of his cock. It gives him a confidence that is just there. He’s born with it.

Like most of us he wants to be liked, nay loved.  He wants to feel the power when he’s pleased his partner. He gets high on the high marks he receives in the sack.  Again and again he wants to prove his worth to women. Not only to make his partner satisfied, but to elevate himself. We all want praise for a job well done and a man with a big cock and some skills will get that, time and time again.

If he is accomplished in other fields in life then he could also get his kicks that way, in which case his serpent might just stay in his pants for you. But if his dick is all he’s got, you can hardly blame him for utilising it?

Historically we know that well endowed men are from parts of the African continent. We know they are not a faithful lot. South America also hosts some well-hung humdingers and again we know (from trash TV) that they are not a faithful lot either.

To confirm these findings I gathered a group of friends whose experiences are extensive and we all confirmed that our personal cheating lovers were linked to penis size.

On a deeper level (and you know we don’t often go deep) men like thrills. The high of pleasuring a lover combined with the danger of cheating keeps that dick searching for new territory. Before you dump the lovely snake in the pants with the belief that you are not enough for him. Stop. Understand. It’s nothing to do with you. He needs constant affirmation that he’s good at something, because the only little thing about him: that little boy inside, believes he has no other worth.

Like so many beautiful things in life poison lives nearby- a rose with thorns. Give up the rose and you avoid the prick. Keep the rose and there is a chance you’ll get pricked.