Wednesday, March 09, 2011



        You’ve got the date. 
       He’s suggested dinner or if he hasn’t you’ve been nimble enough to change the date from ‘a drink’ to ‘dinner’.
        You have allowed him to pick the venue.
        He’s paying and unless you have gone through his rubbish you do not know the state of his bank account.
        You are to get him to suggest something from the menu.
      You are to note all possible squirming out of that role, such as: "I don’t know what you like", "I don’t know how hungry you are". I don’t know what they recommend here".
        If it is the last squirm? Is he brave enough ask the waiter, who will probably suggest something extravagant (and he knows this)?
        Do not let him get out of this process. This will tell you a lot about the man. 
        If he is unable to come up with a suggestion you are dating a girl, leave the table and go out and find someone with balls.
        Ideally he should suggest something above average in price, even better if he suggests a starter as well. 
        My suggestion is that you thank him for his suggestion, which you would ordinarily like, but go for something below mid price range and ideally a salad. 
        Allow him to choose the wine. Note if he picks house red. It labels him as cheap with little desire to impress. 
        Now check his thumb. This is very important. No it will not give you an idea of the size of his dick.  (The only confirmed and absolute assurance as to how to judge the size of a man’s dick is to have his erect penis in your hand)! The Thumb will tell you all about the payment of the meal. 
        Fear not would be Shallow Sister you will not be paying. It’s about how ill at ease you can be made for not paying.
        If the tip of the man’s thumb folds back on itself almost to the point of snapping you’ve picked well. He will not only pay the bill he will possibly settle it when you’ve gone to powder your nose. You won't even be confronted with the painful extraction of a wallet and credit card.
        However, if the thumb isn’t doing the limbo dance then you may well have to sit back, fold your arms and allow him to shuffle in his seat pretending to take a rather long time to find his wallet. If it takes too long, get up and go to the powder room. You do not need to bring up your dinner in disgust at this show of miserliness. And under no circumstances are you to reach for your bag to show an attempt at paying.
        Never, ever pay. It emasculates a man. Bugger the woman’s liberation stance on that. He is the hunter and you are the hunted. You will take that basic instinct away from him putting any possible future relationship into an unnatural role of you being the caretaker and the ‘mother figure’. Allow him to take care of you. Allow him to believe he is in control. Allow him to think that the shit he talks about is awesome and how impressed you are by his command of the evening.
        Shallow you may be, push over you are not.
        If he folded thumb pays happily then take care because the owner of the said thumb will be looking for repayment in another form. It’s fine if you wish to sit on him but if you are (a) not sure (b) have your period (c) are too tired (d) have a belief that you shouldn’t on your first date (no matter how hot you are for him) then be prepared. I have your squirm out clause:  whisper in his ear (a smile of confirmation) with the words "thank you for dinner, I so enjoyed myself, I dare not say how much, not yet, at least".

         No man wants to break that magic.

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