Friday, April 08, 2011

SPIT OR SWALLOW?


SPIT OR SWALLOW?

A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE ON ORAL TECHNIQUES

Yes, I know it’s that age-old question.

Men don’t have this conundrum unless they are gay and I have to say I am shocked how many gay men go for the spit option.  Not sure why that should surprise me since so many women do too.  I guess I see gay men as being, well more erotic.  And Yes I do think swallowing is more erotic, which I am sure everyman who has had someone swallow can attest to.

Heterosexual men don’t have to deal with this dilemma except to wonder if they are going to get lucky with a swallower.  But I have known some that hold your head in a vice like grip and don’t give you much of a chance but to swallow if you ever wish to breathe again.

But I have recently learned that men do encounter this problem.

They are:

1.              Wine tasting.  Spit or Swallow?  OK if you are professional then Spit is probably the way to go on that one since I recently learned that at one wine tasting you might have to try out in excess of 150 different wines.  Hard to do justice to them if you can’t physically move your prostrate body over to that 150th glass waiting for your comment.  I worked it out that it takes about 10 wine-tasting sips to finish one average glass therefore you are looking at a consumption of 15 glasses of wine equivalent to 2.5 bottles.  There is the added deadly factor of mixing wine grapes.  Thus, yes Mr. Wine Connoisseur has no choice but to spit.

2.              Then there is the relatively new phenomenon (to me at least) referred to as ‘squirting’.  I did not know women squirt.  I mean I don’t.  All through my  promiscuous 70’s and …well the promiscuous 80’s and indeed the promiscuous 90’s; oh ok and the promiscuous 200’s.  I knew no one who did.  Trust me we women talk and especially women talk to me about the functions of their bodies.  Yes, I know porn has a lot of squirting going on and apart from one friend of mine who recently thinks she squirted (but now wondered if she just pissed herself) I know of no one else who has and does.  Have women evolved?  Are we now imitating men?  However, this is not the discussion of today, what is, is I wonder if and when a woman spurts do men swallow it up?  Or do they get out of the way of the jet?  Do they worry It’ll get in their hair (as we do?)  And more importantly do they sleep on the wet patch?  Regardless of this I don’t  suppose a woman expects a man to swallow since we are just grateful he dives.

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