A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP – PUTTING MEN IN THEIR PLACE
Of course the only place a man should be is in the dog-house. It is their natural habitat. It is what they strive for; otherwise they would not be so keen to piss us off.
Deflection is our best method of striking back. It is, actually their usual method and we can learn from it. For example:
YOU: You never wash-up.
HIM: But we bought the dishwasher for that.
YOU: You never buy me anything?
HIM: But I give you love and that’s all you said you ever wanted.
Deflection is needed when dealing with those very sensitive topics men like to spring on their girlfriends i.e. fantasies.
Let’s face it, you’re past 23 and therefore have probably fulfilled most of them, if not you’ve fulfilled most of what has been asked of you. Sadly men never mentally get to 23 sexually, thus they are always looking for someone to fulfill their sad and common fantasies.
(We will tackle this whole topic in depth under a different heading, probably one that reads ‘ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!’).
For now we need some quick to hand deflection quips.
1. HIM: Have you ever fantasied about a threesome?
YOU: You mean, you, me and the guy I’m thinking about?
2. HIM: Have you ever fantasied about a threesome?
YOU: You mean, you, me and my vibrator?
3. HIM: Have you ever fantasied about a threesome?
YOU: You mean, me and the two cute guys from next door?
Yes, you will note there are three deflection quips in the ‘threesome category’. Why? Because like a dog he’s got a bone and he can’t let go so he will keep trying to put this one out there.
How to answer the all rounder:
HIM : What is your fantasy?
YOU : A man who doesn’t have any.
The other dreadful possibilities:
HIM : How do you feel about swinging?
YOU : What like you hanging with a noose around your neck?
HIM : Have you ever thought about group sex?
YOU : You want group sex? Set up some mirrors.
Your best hope is to find a man who has experienced all his fantasies and is not looking for a woman to fulfill them for him. Failing that? Get a leash on him and consider neutering.