Tuesday, November 01, 2011

SETTLING vs. PASSION: A SHALLOW SISTER'S TAKE

A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE ON SETTLING vs. PASSION


Settling?

Don’t.

Simple as that?

Actually yes, unless you allow your life to be governed by fear or back to its original root – thought.

Thinking prevents action that settles on fear.

Therefore should one think?  Yes, but only of the reason to go forward and not to remain.

Stories?  Here’s a few.

One lady leaves her husband for a passionate lover, who then doesn’t come up to scratch.  The lady goes back to husband.  Why?  Fear of being ‘lost’ again.  Fear of there not being anyone to fit her needs?  She settles.  Twenty years on she is in a sexless marriage (and has been for most of the 20 years).  She is fulfilling herself in many other ways but ….. well….. Who doesn’t dream of passion?

An old woman dies having chosen to settle for money rather than be with someone who hasn’t.  Fear of being destitute? When she dies, letters unsent, poems to her lover, diaries of her passion remain for the man she walked away from 50 years before.  More than half her life was spent in yearning. 

A man stays with his wife of half his lifetime.  Why?  Four ‘F’ reasons.  Family, friends, finances and fear.  But what about the ‘P’ reason to go. ‘Passion’.  Of course if he goes he may not find it.  He may not sustain it with someone else.  It may be an elusive dream.  Is sacrificing the 4 F’s worth it? 

Yes.

Why?

I have only this to explain it with.  We have one life. This is it.  We will be dead a long time and if you choose part of you to die in order to sustain fear, then it’s not really living, is it?

I have, in the past, thrown the 4 F’s away.  Passion was my vehicle.  Did I regret it?  Sometimes, yes.  With passion comes pain but you learn patience and persistence.  I was patient.  I was persistent with my passion and I can truly say I have no regrets and I’ve lived a passionate life, very few moments unlived.

Do you have a choice to make?

Then this is my best advice to you.  Do not choose between them.  Look at each choice individually and ask yourself ‘is this what I want?’  ‘Is this who I want to be with tomorrow?’  Then make the decision and let that someone go and don’t look back.  Never go back.  Going back is only for when you have made a choice out of duress or when sacrificing yourself.  Then look at the other choice and ask yourself the same questions.  If it turns out that neither are whom you want, then move on alone.  You are now free to fill that space with someone you do want to be with and you will do so with Passion and not Fear. 

Ask any of the Poets.  They lived Passionate lives, filled with pain and paradise and I know each and every one of them rate Passion higher than Companionship.

And not one settled.



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