Wednesday, December 28, 2011

DECEPTION: A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP


A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP – DECEPTION

Deception has never been so easy.  It also has never been so complex.  Once you know how to utilize modern technology it can be a breeze, but get something wrong and it’s your nightmare. 

You have more than one lover, a fact you wish to remain secret because frankly it’s fun to have more than one lover.  Therefore deception is the only way forward and Technology is your tool. 

Luckily you are a woman and therefore can multi-task.  Unluckily you are a woman and therefore technology is a bummer.

Once you have mastered your mobile/electronic devices these are the main points to remember:

Never leave yourself logged on to any computer.  Sign out.  This includes Facebook.
Delete all messages sent and received on Facebook.
Delete all messages sent and received on SKYPE.
Delete all messages sent and received on your mobile.
Clear History on all computers daily.
Clean the trash file.
Remove and secretly store photos.
Do not get tagged on photos in places you were not meant to be.

Try to avoid having more than one lover on Facebook as you will not be in control of what gets posted on your wall and you could have to further juggle privacy settings which frankly is a pain and not hugely reliable.

The mobile phone:
Be sure your phone is only ever on vibrate, ideally not even on that.  Never leave your phone in view.  Never leave your phone unattended.

Keeping lovers happy is an absolute must.  Make one feel a little neglected and you have a loose cannon ready to create dating mayhem.   Therefore let all lovers know you are thinking of them when you are with someone else.  Master group texting to save time.

The Art of Toilet Texting:
Women go to the toilet a lot whether they need to or not.  Men are used to this fact.  Take your bag with your phone in it (remember do not keep your phone in view).  Enter the toilet.  Enter the cubicle.  Lock the cubicle.  Send a text message.  Erase your text message.  Make sure you have put some lipstick on and rejoin your partner.

The receiver of the message than thinks you are doing nothing better than thinking of him and not on a date with someone else.  Men don’t understand multi-tasking.  They don’t know that you can pee, text and put on a fresh coat of lipstick virtually simultaneously.


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