Thursday, January 12, 2012

SIZE PART I : A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP


A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP – SIZE - PART I


Many years ago a group of strangers were sitting in a hotel room drinking.  None of us ever thought we would see each other again.  We were ships that passed in the night and so we found it possible to be open and honest on all subjects.  One of the guys in the group asked me ‘Does size really matter?’

I was honest and could be because I was not in love with anyone at the time, neither a man with a small dick or a large one.  You think that statement would have made a difference to my question?  Oh definitely it would have. 

A year before I had been in love with a man who had a dick so small that the first time I felt it I said to myself ‘Oh dear God please don’t let this be erect.’  Can you imagine this?  I would prefer to encounter a limp dick (given I was naked and he had been intimate all over my body thus risking huge security issues) rather than have to deal with a small dick.  Incidentally it was erect and I fought hard with disappointment when the only thing I could feel was his balls slapping away at my arse!

 How did I fall in love with him you are wondering?  This was in the days of yore.  The days when  I was not shallow, but mostly in the days I was desperate for a boyfriend.  This one was handsome (a touch of shallow) and from a wealthy family (a thicker stroke of shallow so I was obviously moving naturally in that direction).  He was also just about perfect in every way, except his dick.  I soon learned to believe the statement ‘size doesn’t matter.’  Sure I got physical enjoyment in other ways but it was the tedious humping that went on for years, wherein I had to moan and writhe as if I could feel every millimeter of his dick whereas I wondered if it was actually in! 

You can tell a relationship’s progress by the various stages of ‘women talk’. 
In the early days of love’s rapture you will tell all your friends how he was the best physically.  How he has given you the most powerful orgasms you have ever had.  How he knows your body better than you do.  How he can drive you wild with his expertise.  (No mention of dicks you’ll notice). 

Mid-way relationship wise he’ll become the brunt of the jokes with your girlfriends.  You’ll confess through unrestrained laughter the truth about his dick.  You’ll even give them visuals by demonstrating length and girth using silk cut cigarettes.   My ex became known as ‘One silk cut’. 

At the end of the relationship when you are totally out of love and very possibly have replaced the love with feelings of abhorrence you will then tell your friends how dreadful the sex had been.  How you had to live on a diet of only foreplay and how it was sometimes hard to find the dick hidden in all that pubic hair (which he shouldn’t have had anyway).  Careful at this point as it doesn’t put you in a very good light.  (Fancy having been so stupid for fooling yourself for years otherwise.)

Equally, the man with the big dick also gets the piss taken out of him.  I dated a perfect prick (both dick and man).  At the love stage of the relationship I told my friends his dick was wonderful (still true today).  At the mid part of the relationship I told my friends, I was putting up with him because his dick was so wonderful.  At the ‘come any nearer and I’ll shoot you stage’ I told my friends he had back hair and we know there are some things you can’t put up with when you are no longer in love.

I told the guy who asked the question about size.  ‘Yes, size matters.’ 
He looked a little concerned.  Later than night I was able to confirm to him that he had nothing to worry about.

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