Friday, February 17, 2012



How do you know he’s ‘the one’ and not  the ‘that’ll do’? What exactly are soul mates?

Simple step by step gauge as to why he isn’t the one:

1.              He looks like how you hoped ‘the one’ would look.

The One will probably take you completely by surprise. You will know almost instantly. You will not have to work at making The One fit into a perfect box. He just will. He will also recognize that you are The One. 

Therefore, all those previous dates/boyfriends/husbands that you thought were the one because (a) you were desperate (b) you mistook lust for love, were not. Why weren’t they?  Did they tick these boxes?

1.              Physically you desire him completely (regardless of how gorgeous or not he is)
2.              Mentally he stimulates you totally, you can listen to him for hours and want him to get to know you too.
3.              He becomes your best friend.
4.              Emotionally you cannot stop yourself gushing and in turn he is able to emotionally satisfy you.
5.              You just know. Deep down in your gut you just know. At no point do you doubt it. At no point do you question it except to be amazed how certain you are. The spiritual connection. You are at peace with him. Your love is unconditional.

It’s like an orgasm.  Until you’ve had one you wonder if you have. You ask friends, lovers even, the question ‘how would I know if I’ve had an orgasm’.  The answer you get back is always ‘Oh you will know.’ 

The One may not be Mr. Right.  Mr. Right is someone who fits into your perception of what you would like in a man.   He is the one you think your friends will be impressed with; the one your parents will like; the one who matches the lifestyle you have.

Mr. Right Now is the one who doesn’t fit all the above but you are seriously horny for and will jettison other criteria for him.  Mr. Right Now can also be the one you settle for because (a) you are desperate (b) you need security (c) you are too tired to keep looking.

Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now do not last. Your feelings for them will fade and could even turn to loathing.

The One you will always love. It may not last but you will always love him. Why because he fits perfectly into your soul. A calmness and a recognition of a unity that was joined somewhere in the ether.  Reality and Life can only keep you apart, create situations that make it difficult or impossible to be together, but the love never dies.

We don’t always get to recognize The One as in we don’t always meet him. You would have thought that given you are both two souls looking for unity you would find each other in, what is fast becoming a small world but it seems Mr. Rights and Mr. Right Now’s get in the way.

Should you find The One then you need to hold on to him because (although you can live without him) life would become an empty shell with no chance of being filled completely regardless of how many Mr. Rights and Mr. Right Nows you shack up with.

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