Sunday, May 26, 2013

DEEP THROAT - A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP


DEEP THROAT – A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP
(This is dedicated to a small group of Istanbul debaters – they know who they are)

What pressure we women have been put under since the film Deep Throat with Linda Lovelace hit the screen; and since Internet porn made it into our homes.

The question for many is, exactly how does Deep Throat Blowjobs work?  It takes courage ladies and the will to impress.

Before I demonstrate, with words what is required, let me remind you that I am The Self-appointed Goddess of Suction.  What began, as a ‘tongue-in-cheek’ comment became a life’s work.  There is no man out there, who has not been anointed by the goddess and did not remark ‘wow that was the best blowjob I have ever had’.

I shall cover how to give the best blowjob known to humanity, once I have tackled the subject of this workshop.

Practice:
·      Use a banana.  They give good shape.  Ensure the banana is firm, as it might break off after you have tried this a few times.  Progress to something else i.e. your vibrator or dildo.
·      Learn to open your throat.  Extend your bottom jaw down, take in air and relax your neck and throat muscles. 
·      Gagging is often a given.  This only happens if you forget to relax.  You can work on learning to train that reflex action by inserting your finger down your throat.  (Using a strand of cooked spaghetti works well too.)
·      Work on learning to breathe through your nostrils, although I find this is not always practical (the girth of the penis may block the air passage to the lungs).

Practicalities:
·      Wear waterproof mascara.  Your eyes will water. 
·      Utilise sufficient alcohol to help you relax.
·      You probably won’t be able to breathe.  Your throat is not like your vagina.  The penis cannot remain in there for an indefinite period of time.  Breathing is essential!  You will have to allow him a couple of thrusts before removing him from your mouth so you can get some air in and then reinserting him.
·      Your saliva ducts will gush.  You may well dribble.  You certainly will need to swallow.
·      Be fearless.

Positions:
·      This depends on the shape of the penis.  It has to penetrate your mouth opening and the curve of your throat in order to avoid too much gag.  So decide how best to position yourself.
·      The 69 position works well.  
·      69 with you on top.  Moving your mouth in a seesaw fashion will help you ease the penis past your throat opening.  Use your hand to guide it in as well.
·      69 with him on top.  He will probably get so excited you won’t be able to do much but push the top of your head back against the mattress and let him in.  You might want to keep one hand free to push him back out so you can take in oxygen before you pass out and then letting him back in.
·      Experiment with various positions.

Conclusions:
·      Introduce the deep throat about half way through your blowjob for a couple of thrusts.  Then when you can feel he is close to coming, do it again, and this will send him just over the edge.  For those of you who have difficulty swallowing, this may well be your answer; his semen will bypass your taste buds.   It’s also nice not to have to deal with come in your hair.
·      He will thank you endlessly (it’s a good time to put in for diamonds).

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