Monday, January 06, 2014



This day has been dubbed the worse day of the year by experts or just freaks who like playing with statistics.

It is the day most divorces are filed.

It is the day someone somewhere hurls themselves onto the tube line at rush hour. (Check this morning’s newspaper. The Victoria Line was delayed because someone had).

This is the day more negative tweets appear.

This is the day more men than women are crying into their beer.

There are all sorts of theories: debts from Christmas shopping and then sale shopping; New Year Resolutions not kept; Christmas and New Year fuck ups; weather conditions; getting back to the grind.

This is my theory. It’s the Baby Blues. Those who have had babies can relate to this immediately. About 6 – 10 days after the birth of a baby women go through a hormonal surge leaving us weepy, depressed, overwhelmed, anxious etc.

This is what has just happened: We have collectively given birth to a New Year. The next 12 months stretch out before us, faultless, perfect and we now have the chance to fuck it up. We cannot say, ‘that was a terrible year and I can’t wait to put it behind me'. NO! We get to start again. We have a chance to put it right and make this coming year a great one and we are fearful.

Is there a remedy? Yes. When your resolutions don’t come to much restart them whenever you want, for as many times as you want (my sister is particularly good at this one).

When the day does not work out how you want it to go, restart the day. Take a deep breath and say, 'I’m restarting the day. All that other crap is now behind me and not with me'. (I’m particularly good at this one).

Mainly: Forgive yourself. Don’t punish yourself. Accept you fucked up. If you can’t put it right, stop trying to. If you see a way to put it right later, try to. But absolutely don’t give yourself a hard time. You are your best friend. You are your lover (if you masturbate that is). You are own soul mate. Have some respect for that.

Now go out and enjoy 2014. It won’t come again and it’s ungracious not to grasp it with both hands and give it all you can, as you would your new baby (indeed you are your new baby). Help yourself grow tall and robust so that next year that strength welcomes more power to stand with you.

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