Wednesday, June 11, 2014

MELTDOWN PART I - A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP


MELTDOWN PART I – A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP

You are having a meltdown. A man is to blame. You are faced with two choices:

1.              A life sentence for murder.
2.              Chocolate.

Facts on chocolate:
Chocolate contains antioxidant flavonoids (yeah I don’t know what that is either). However, other plants such as tea (which is why a hot cup of tea is good after a shock) and wine (which is why a large bottle of wine is good anytime) also contains large amounts of this antioxidant flavo thing.

With chocolate the trick is to only eat 90% chocolate. The more non-cocoa fat the bar contains the less it’ll do for you in the long term. Now it sounds tempting to take a chunk out of a 90% cocoa bar but you’ll find your mouth sticks together, and as you chew your way through bitterness you will not discover a soft caramel centre; but by god those antioxidant flavonoids will be soaring through your body making your grey world bright again.

You see chocolate acts like serotonin - That natural drug released after exercise, sex and winning the lottery. Chocolate imitates love. Apparently the same chemical reactions happen when you indulge in a chocolate bar as when you are happy in love. That’s why we reach for chocolate in the midst of our meltdown. Just make sure it’s 90%. Ok Ok, even I can’t do 90% when in pain, so a 70% chili dark chocolate or orange dark chocolate will suffice.

Facts on murder:
It carries a sentence of 10 to life.

Thus I conclude the chocolate option is better unless you prefer your next lover to be a girl called Gerry.









No comments:

Post a Comment

Please comment - the more you put, the more I learn, the more I write.