Wednesday, July 02, 2014

FOOTBALL - THE GAME OF THRONES - A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP FOR MEN AND WOMEN


FOOTBALL – THE GAME OF THRONES - A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP FOR MEN AND WOMEN

World Cup football fever has gripped every household, or at least ours. The game is a war between countries without anyone dying or at least not during the game. Out of the game there was the case of the Colombian Captain Andres Escobar shot dead by the Mafia for scoring an own goal and consequently driving Colombia out of the tournament some 20 years before. Still football is a safe Coliseum of a kind. Our modern day Gladiators do battle with a ball, sometimes head butting their opponent. A humane sport with no animals in sight unless you wish to count Uruguay’s Suarez biting Italian’s Chiellini as beasty.

How can football help us date? By process of elimination. We should use the rules of football to conduct our choice in partners. We should date prolifically and when ready for any long-term relationship we should begin to siphon through our dates.

 There are many ways to start if you are dating multiple people. I suggest you begin the same way they do in the World Cup. Groups chosen at random. Then begin the play off. Set each lover a date task consider the winner has scored a goal. Have sex; who performs to your taste earns another goal. I leave you to choose the categories that are goal worthy. When you reach the next level (be it the semi-final or the quarter final (I bow in reverence if you needed a quarter final)) you might have to go into extra time. You might even have to take it to penalty. One small act of surprise at the last minute could score a goal for the losing side.

Once you have your winner, again refer to the World Cup Rules. It clearly states that the World Cup will be played every four years, except during World Wars. You may consider a marriage a World War and therefore put your Dating World Cup on hold, but remember wars do end except perhaps the 100-year war, in which case you might need to hang up your running shoes.

Personally I think we should all adhere to the 4-year hiatus. Allow your lover to sit on the throne so badly fought for. But when 4 years are up its time to return to your Game of Thrones and either reinstate your lover or find your new King or Queen, using football rules again.

Let the games begin.

2 comments:

  1. Essentially insightful stuff, and I wish to learn more. Could Shallow Sister give some advice on the following?
    > World Cups are played out in front of huge crowds, should we do likewise?
    > Goal-line technology comprises a series of hidden cameras. Should we invest?
    > Every World Cup brings new balls. Different coverings and consistencies. Should we be looking to replicate this?

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    Replies
    1. Indeed RomanBritons. Naturally the dating game must be played out to a crowd. Your friends for sure. If your date impresses your friends then perhaps that's a goal earned? Hidden cameras are essential. You will need to invest in tactics that enable you to understand if your date is just playing you for the win or is sincere. You will need to hone in on that hidden camera we all carry called 'gut instinct'. Plus friends again come in handy as they can give you insight and other perspectives, they are your hidden cameras too. True balls change as will your needs, every 4 years you too should assess what it is you are looking for this time round. Readjust your tactics to accommodate this. Certainly practice will be required especially if playing away on not previously tested turf.

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