Thursday, February 05, 2015

SIZE PART VI - A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP


SIZE PART VI – A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP

Which country is home to the largest penises?

Ulster University in Northern Ireland did a serious study. It was a non-whimsical gathering of data. Their research highlights, not only flaccid length and girth but aroused too. They recorded not only measured size but also informed size (which means they did not log some guy’s exaggeration except in belief a centimeter or more should be shaved off for measured accuracy). You won’t be surprised to note that verbally given size differs by at least 1 inch to actual measured size. The University paper prattles further on other aspects that give weight to their conclusions. You’d be surprised by the findings. Of course this won’t guarantee you a man of reasonable length, but it will give you an idea (along with all my other helpful workshops on size). Of course what you should be doing is looking in your dates’ pants before donning your lipstick and stepping out but sadly that’s not an option open to us.

Top country is no surprise. It’s on the African Continent: The Congo. If you are into black men and don’t mind a nation in turmoil you might want to check out the other kind of diamonds on offer.

Ecuador comes second with Colombia and Venezuela in 5th and 6th place respectively. I thought that was a surprise but way before many other African countries comes the rank outsider – Iceland. Who’d have thought? The population is only about 325,000 so it’s likely you won’t be disappointed on any man you pick or any prick one has.

Lebanon makes it at number 11. How does it work? Phoenicians inhabited so much of the surrounding land that then surely Palestine would not rank 48 and Israel 68? Iran and Iraq are only just above Israel in land size and appendages.

Georgia (ex Soviet Union) is doing better than the rest of its neighbours at number 19. Out of the blue comes Czech Republic closely followed by Denmark at number 23. The Netherlands and Belgium follow along at 26, so you’d expect France to be next, right? Wrong! France is way way down the list at No.90. These fine boned wine cultivating people are not well hung; thus ensuring the UK are staggering around with inflated importance at ranking 11 above their historical adversary (not really something to write home about though).

The United Kingdom must have ousted, not just criminals but all men with small penises from their country as Australians are way down the scale. The Empire also sent potato eaters and the religious lunatic fringe the other way since Americans are fairing worse than New Zealanders, Germans and the Irish (who incidentally are at No. 97, which must have been a bitter blow for Ulster University’s research department).

Bangladesh, India and Sri Lanka were a surprise. They don’t rate much higher than the Japanese. And if you really want to avoid all disappointment I’d stay clear of North and South Korea who came in last.

Anyway, I’m off to Iceland.

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