DECISION MAKING – A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE
Do emotions cloud decisions? Often. But I believe there is a journey IN and a journey OUT requiring an opposite set of rules.
Emotions should take a back seat for your journey into a relationship. Assess analytically why you wish to commit? If emotion is your main focus then perhaps you need to step away and listen to what your friends have been telling you (unless you’ve been feeding them horseshit and they don’t know the reality). These friends are often the voice of reason.
Make your IN decision to commit on the basis that you cannot change your partner; that he will not change for you or any one else. If you can live with that then you may not need a back door later on.
Your journey OUT is probably best made with emotion (now you’ve found out you cannot change your partner). If you are mentally bruised then let passion spur you to make serious changes. Allowing the logical step of looking at reality when all the feathers have settled may undermine your courage. Fear is a great sticking plaster: fear of being alone, fear of what others think, fear of financial changes, fear of the wide eyes of children and fear of your inability to cope alone.
In short: Go in with reason and leave with passion.
What if you think passion will cloud judgement? Then detach from yourself. Imagine someone you care about has asked for your advice. What would tell them?
And if you are still at a loss there is always the toss of a coin. How do you feel about the outcome? Ask yourself one question after the coin has spoken. “Am I happy with that decision?” If you are ‘roll with it’ and if not choose the flip side.
Choices are gambles anyway and even if we can predict a journey there is no guarantee on any outcome. So, perhaps we should stop looking at the end game and make decisions on how great or not the journey is.