A SHALLOW SISTER’S TAKE ON ‘THE ULIMATE PENIS’.
I stand by my declaration that size matters. Now, if all women would stand by this fact (and it is a fact (albeit mainly mine)) than we can one day dispense of that dreaded micro penis. How? Well evolution has proved (in the animal kingdom) that penises evolve to match the changing environment, and in some cases the desires of the female. In the case of The Argentine Lake Duck this is an evolution of rejection. She took measures to protect herself from gang rape. (Yes, it is true gang rape is common in the duck world, which may make you feel differently about refusing (on animal conservation grounds) that ‘duck a la orange’ you crave). The duck has evolved a vagina more complex than the maze at Hampton Court. Her vagina twists like a corkscrew quite a distance into her body, thus making penetration for the male a no-goer – so you’d hope. However this was not kept as an evolutionary secret, which would have ensured extinction for the entire Argentinean Lake duck population. Death by confit duck perhaps? Mother Nature was on the side of the males on this one and they quickly evolved their penises to unwind up to 42.5 cm like a corkscrew - and so the species lives on. The size of the Argentina Lake Duck’s penis is hung longer than a horse so perhaps we should also evolve and wish for ‘Hung a la Duck’.