A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP – THAT CREEPY SOMEONE.
We all have dark thoughts; we all descend into the outer reaches of hell, just for a peek, if only to see what resides there.
So, if you think creepy thoughts then it follows that the date you are about to meet up with does too. Based upon his zodiac sign, let us find out what kind of horror-scope awaits you!
If you think I’m again talking bollocks I would like to add that these are not my findings since my limit on the celestial arts is not as extensive. The below insight I have gleaned from sources published on Rebel Circus, Bustle, Thought Catalogue, Ganeshaspeaks, and about another dozen or so publications.
Now, before you go tarring your date with just one brush, you can colour his dark world with many more shades of black by checking his rising sign (you’ll need his date, place and time of birth (the internet will work the rest of it out for you)). This will also give you his moon (which as we know, from my various missives, has a lot to do with our darkness). In this way you may have a fuller idea of what creepiness awaits.
But before you go delving into the innards of his madness you should check your own. See how accurate it all is? Scary findings in itself.
THE ZODIAC ACCORDING TO PLACEMENT:
ARIES: You are death obsessed. You are always thinking about your own death and the death of those closest to you. It’s creepy but perfectly normal for you as you are one of the death signs.
TAURUS: You are a stalker. You are most likely to know exactly what your ex is doing post breakup due to extreme lurking. If he’s seeing someone else you’ll find that person on social media and look through all their stuff because you just can’t let go.
GEMINI: You are skilled liar. You should be a writer because man can you weave a vivid tale. Sometimes, you lie just for the fun of it. Just to see if you can get away with it. And you always do. Because of its duality, Gemini has the ability to reframe almost anything as their own version of the truth.
CANCER: You are obsessive. When it comes to relationships you have to remind yourself not to get carried away. It’s in your nature to nurture, but the obsession with your partner is not only creepy but suffocating.
LEO: You just want to be loved and admired. Sometimes, you picture your own funeral. You imagine who would show up first. Who would cry the loudest? Who would be the most torn apart by your death. It’s a sick fantasy that makes you feel important.
VIRGO: You have secret bizarre sexual fetishes that live in the back of your mind. Unfortunately, that’s generally where they stay due to the shy nature of the Virgo. However, there’s an inner freak that envisions some pretty kinky stuff and one day you might just bring it out.
LIBRA: You are most likely to have an aching curiosity about all things creepy. It led you to click on that article and watch that documentary. You’ve seen some shit, thanks to the Internet and your overwhelming desire to know the why, who and when of every disturbing thing you read or see.
SCORPIO: You can get super dark. In fact, you are the darkest of all the signs. Dark thoughts pop into your head easily: thoughts of murder and scenarios of violence. You can’t help but think about how at any moment you could choose to be a murderer or start a fire or drop a baby.
SAGITTARIUS: You can be cold hearted. You love your freedom and run away from problems. It’s easier to do that than face them and solve relationship issues. You often feel numb at times when you should be feeling extreme happiness or sadness.
CAPRICORN: You fantasize about murder, specifically murdering those closest to you. You plan out the deaths of your friends and family members. It’s not that you actually want to hurt them. It’s just a mental exercise. You try to figure out how you’d get away with each of their murders — just to see how smart you are.
AQUARIUS: You think about what you’ll say at your friends’ and family’s funerals. What’s creepy is how often you think about it. They’re not sick thoughts or anything. But you like to be creative — and what’s more creative than writing an emotional eulogy?
PISCES: You think of horrible scenarios like: a shooting at work, the apartment block set on fire by a madman, so you can be the hero. You swoop in and stop the attacker. You think you have to save everyone, so you think of terrible situations in which you can to step up and save the day.