Monday, March 19, 2018

SIZE VII - A SHALLOW SISTER'S DATING WORKSHOP

SIZE VII - A SHALLOW SISTER’S DATING WORKSHOP 

We no longer need  (a) go in clueless (b) do a quick recce (c) ask directly, to learn penis size.

About two years ago I stumbled upon this discovery as being a fail-safe method to find out penis size. I kept from publishing the findings until I had done more research than my usual 15 minutes on Google. I have now told dozens of men their penis size merely by checking the different length of their fingers; these gentlemen gallantly confirmed my findings. I have also asked dozens of women to check their partners and come back to me with their findings and all have affirmed: I’m on to something. As yet I cannot give you exact measurements (in inches or centimeters) but I can tell you if the man is ‘average’, ‘above average’ or ‘below average’. I cannot guess at a ‘monster dick’ or a ‘micro’, but given government funding and a staff of 4, I’m sure, within a year, I could publish in The Lancet.

So, how do you work this out? As per the picture above: If the index finger is longer than the ring finger best ask for the bill and dump the date for he is below average. If the ring finger is longer than the index finger then I hope you brought extra large condoms with you.

I grant you it is not easy to work a method of discovery on a date. Hands have an uncanny way of not staying still, neither straight. They can deceive you by curling just one finger slightly. You will also look weird as you watch his hands fly around as he tells you a story. I suggest you bring your conversation to the topic of nails. Ask to see his, hold his hands in yours, comment on how beautifully manicured they are. Tell him how rare it is to find a man with such well-kept hands, then scoot off if they don’t come up to scratch.

Perhaps he bites his nails or are a little worn from manual work? I suggest you tell him you can read palms. You can’t? Don’t worry, make shit up, it’s all in a future he hasn’t lived yet, so who knows if you’ll be right. If you need to give your bullshit gravitas, press into his fleshy palms and tell him he is sensitive, hurt by love even, generous to those he cares for, adores opulence and luxury (I mean who doesn’t). Every man thinks he is all of these things, and better yet, he will strive to be these things since he wishes to live up to your belief in him. And while you read his palms you might actually see into his future - as to whether you are willing to shag him or not!


GOOD NEWS




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