Thursday, March 22, 2018



You’ve had a bust-up and you don’t know where to begin again, your heart is broken, the future looks bleak?

In case you haven’t yet, read this first:

Once you have pulled yourself out of speed mourning (using the tools to help you move on) you must begin to date yourself. No, I don’t mean go out on a date with someone. I mean date yourself. Do something for yourself. Join a yoga class (that’ll help with rage), go to an art gallery alone and exercise your mind by giving your own interpretation to what you see (especially if it’s modern art), take a book to a cafĂ© (not a weepie though). Have dinner out. I won’t lie and say the beginnings aren’t hard. You will feel unease as you eat alone wondering if others feel sorry for you. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t but maybe they are envious that you find your own company enough. However, once your new habit has set in you will find someone you like in yourself and that your own company is enough. Good enough that you are ready to let someone else join you. But the main reason for spending time alone (not sitting at home binge eating and watching re-runs) is to heal your heart so you aren’t vulnerable when the sharks circle. You are that injured fish, struggling in deep water. Men, like sharks (nay are sharks) smell your blood, surround you and, rather than mend you they will feast on you. You cannot hope to have a new healthy relationship if you are injured and until that happens you will attract men who pry on your vulnerability. So mend this broken heart before it is torn to shreds.

Your healing can take anywhere from 3 months to eternity, because it depends upon you and how hard you work to get that heart in shape. We all know it only takes 6 weeks of intensive training to get a six-pack (be it under fat or skin - they are still abs). So, the harder you work the faster that heart will heal. If in 3 months you are smiling and dating again it won’t be an indication that you did not love deeply but a sign of survival and love for yourself. 

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